Friday, November 8, 2013

Fridays are Worse than Mondays

The title says it all.

To me, Fridays are worse than Mondays. Way worse. I'm going to tell you why I think that, and you will probably proceed to think that I'm even more depressing than you already did.

Ah well. I've already thrown myself out here, might as well go all out.

When I say this, you first need to understand that I'm not saying that Mondays are amazing or something like that. Because they're not. Quite the contrary.

Indeed, Mondays are absolute torture for me most of the time.

However, at least you have something to look forward to. On a Monday, you can be preparing yourself for the weekend.

Most likely I'm the only one that starts the preparation that early, but that's just the way I roll.

At any rate, you can constantly remind yourself that each and every day is just one day closer to the weekend. Then you won't have to do school, or go to work, or do whatever it is that you people do.

However, the first horrible thing about Fridays is that they go amazingly slow. Slower than any other day, for me. I'm just waiting the entire day for it to be over, so that I can start my weekend.

Most people would see this as a good thing. The weekend is almost here. However, the minute I get back from my internship, and I'm at home, I come to horrible realization.

And that is that I have nothing to look forward to.

The only thing I have to look forward to is the next monday. Every day is just that much closer to when I have to actually do work. There's no weekend to look forward to, because the weekend is already here.

That thought depresses me more than I'd care to admit.

I recognize that this is a rather roundabout way of thinking. However, I can't help the way my brain works. I'm kind of backwards like that.

When a math problem says that one number is two times another, I'm more likely to use 1 and 1/2, rather than 1 and 2, just because 1 is two times 1/2. And that makes sense to me.

I probably just confused everyone who reads this.

Anyways. I'm very, very sorry to do this to you guys. You've never done anything to me to make me want to throw this stuff on you. The fact that Fridays are worse than Mondays is not exactly a pleasant thought, and, if at all possible, I hope that you can get rid of it as soon as possible.

I just needed to get it off my chest.

I apologize for any inconveniences I may have caused.


My name is Jordan, I'm 16 years old, and I like to think I'm funny. If you want to subscribe to my youtube channel, there's a button in the sidebar! Thanks for visiting and I love you all!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

The First Post (Out of Many) About How I Ultimately Failed at Life

So today I did something that I'm kind of ashamed of. But I do stupid things so often, I'm starting to get used to them.

I failed at life.

Like, big time.

Like, so much so, that I'm really hesitating to put this on the internet.

But what the heck. Maybe I'll make someone feel better about themselves. That would make it worth it to me.

In this video, which was actually my very first video (It's pretty forced and unnatural, but you can watch it if you want), I mentioned that I hate phones. That they're unnatural and make me extremely uncomfortable.

Today's story just explains to you how true that really is.

I'm doing something in my homeschooling, where I'm taking a Latin class online. First and foremost, you need to understand that I don't get other languages. My brain just doesn't comprehend them. That makes the subject itself about ten times worse.

Not only that, but I had to call my teacher that's been grading all of my stuff to let him give me a test. I got 40/50. Which isn't too bad, I suppose. 80%. But that's not the point.

The point is that I was a stupid, stammering mess throughout the whole call. I couldn't calm myself down for the life of me, and the stuff that I messed up on, I knew the minute I hung up the phone.

Then, after it was all said and done, I completely broke down and burst into tears.

I'm so sorry to my family, and anyone else that ever has to experience me when I'm in one of these moods, but I just ended up telling everyone that I didn't want to talk to anyone, and laying in my bed for an hour.

I don't know why I do things like this, and I wish I knew how to stop. But sometimes I just can't help it.

Just so you guys know, I don't mind if you guys laugh at me when I do this kind of stuff. That's part of the reason I'm putting it out here. I can see how, especially from an outsider's perspective, this can be funny. I'm sure I'll look back at this someday and laugh.

And I like to make others laugh. So don't be afraid that I'll be offended by that. Because really I'm not. But if anyone else has ever had any awkward, horrible experiences where they basically just failed at life, I'd love to hear from you. Sometimes writing stuff out makes it feel a bit better.

And chocolate. Chocolate helps too.


My name is Jordan, I'm 16 years old, and I like to think I'm funny. If you want to subscribe to my youtube channel, there's a button in the sidebar! Thanks for visiting and I love you all!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

The Frog Incident

If you're here for a funny story, you're in luck. At least, I thought it was funny.

This has to do with frogs.

Now my family is originally from Ohio. That's where I grew up, and lived all of my life. My parents lived there for most of their lives as well. Now I live in Florida.

And let me tell you, it was a crazy change. One of the biggest changes that I have experienced is the creatures.

Yes, I just called them creatures.

I don't think you guys truly understand my pain here. Mostly, when I say 'creatures', I'm talking about the stupid palmetto bug/cockroach things that exist down here.

Those things are freaking terrifying and they scare the crap out of me. In a good way (just kidding, they make me feel like I'm about to die).

However, something funny happened the other night, and I thought that I had to share. My family and I were just sitting at our outside table, eating. When out of nowhere, my six year old sister just starts screaming. At first, I had no idea what was going on, and it kind of freaked me out.

Then I realized that a frog had just landed on her leg.

And I just started cracking up.

I'm sorry. I know it's mean, and I love my sister to death. But this was hilarious. Finally, she managed to get it off of her leg, and it hopped off to who knows where. Throughout the meal, we were constantly cracking jokes about this frog, asking where it was.

Then, at one point, I actually saw it underneath the table. So I said, "Hey look, there's the frog."

And it picked that exact moment to jump. It landed on my mom's leg. For a moment, I just stared. And she looked at me, and she asked where it was. When I didn't answer, she just said:

"It's on my leg, isn't it?"

When I finally manage to say yes, she too started screaming.

Needless to say, we played a game of pass the frog all evening, while I was busy laughing so hard I thought I was going to cry, and sitting like L from Death Note.


My name is Jordan, I'm 16 years old, and I like to think I'm funny. If you want to subscribe to my youtube channel, there's a button in the sidebar! Thanks for visiting and I love you all!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

I Don't Do Healthy - Video

Hey guys! I've got another youtube video for you guys today, talking about why I'm not good with healthy food. I hope you enjoy!


My name is Jordan, I'm 16 years old, and I like to think I'm funny. If you want to subscribe to my youtube channel, there's a button in the sidebar! Thanks for visiting and I love you all!

Thursday, October 31, 2013

I Love Basketball

So I know I wasn't here yesterday, and I feel kind of bad about that. So I guess I might as well tell you guys why that was.

I was playing basketball.

I went to a get together at my old school that they have every Wednesday (I've been going to them since I dropped out). I love getting to play in a gym, and see people I haven't seen in a while. It's still strange to not see the people I used to see every day.

Anyways. I was at the gym, and I was playing basketball.

Now I'm fairly decent at sports. I'm definitely not the best, and I'm not going to say I am, but I can definitely hold my own. People want me on their team, we can put it that way.

The only problem here is that I haven't played in what seems like forever. Even though the last time I played was just last week. So at that rate, the only exercise I have is for about 2 hours once a week.

Good job Jordan, that's exactly how you're supposed to stay in shape.

At any rate, right now I kind of feel like a bear (or some other very large creature) just had a dance party on my lower back and butt. Yep. I know you wanted to know that.

Part of my problem I think is my competitiveness. I don't like to lose, and I definitely don't like to be the reason for my team losing. It's just a pain, and it makes me feel not so good about myself.

So yesterday I was pushing myself. More so than I even normally do. And I'm definitely feeling the backlash.

But at least I beat one of the best kids at the school in 1v1. It was super close (9:8), but at least I know that he didn't let me win. I hate it when people do that to me, and he knows that. He's beat me plenty of times, and I've beat him about the same number. We're evenly matched. At least I hope so.

In other news, NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow. It's a challenge that has you writing 50,000 words in a month (November). It equals out to about 1,667 words a day. I've done it the past three years, and won every time. I intend to do so again this year, perhaps even surpassing their suggested goal and getting 100,000. That would be impressive.

Of course, I'm hoping to get my initial 50,000 on the very first day. I'm staying up late, and I won't be sleeping tonight.

If you guys don't get a post tomorrow, you'll know why.


My name is Jordan, I'm 16 years old, and I like to think I'm funny. If you want to subscribe to my youtube channel, there's a button in the sidebar! Thanks for visiting and I love you all!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Some Days

Today is just not my day.

I don't know what it is. Just some days I wake up, and I feel like I just want to punch something. Or perhaps multiple things.

I'm not generally like this; I usually get along with people just fine. However, some days it's hard to control myself.

I personally love school; everyone always looks at me weird for that. But today I just didn't feel like doing it. I pushed through of course, as I certainly had to, but I didn't want to. Not at all.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly what happened. It kind of makes me uncomfortable; the fact that sometimes I can't control myself. That's something I really don't enjoy. Being out of control. I don't like anything that makes me feel like someone else is stronger than me, or that I can't control exactly what is going on.

That's why I took martial arts. And sometimes that helps me release my tension anyways.

However, there are a few other things that help me through these tough days. Sometimes (most days) I just laze around all day watching television or browsing tumblr. And there's nothing wrong with that. It helps me a lot sometimes.

But other times I just need to get out. Maybe not of the neighborhood, per say, but just out of the house. I go for a run, or just do something that's overall athletic, and I feel better again.

That didn't work for me today.

Sometimes I try to write. That's what I'm doing right now. Trying to get all of these thoughts, these emotions out of my head. But as of right now, that's not working either.

Sometimes I try to make myself laugh. I watch youtube videos and stand up comedians; try to do something, anything to help me. I haven't tried that yet. Maybe it'll work. Probably not.

Some of my days are just like this. I don't know why, and I would love to get rid of it. It's a part of me that I can't control, and that's what scares me most.

I know this is extra serious in comparison to my normal, lighthearted behavior.

But on these kinds of days I just can't bother to be energetic. I can't bother to be funny.

I have to simply exist, and hope that I get out of my fuck soon. That's where I'm at right now. If anybody has any ideas of what I could do to try to get rid of this, I'd be eternally grateful. If not, that's fine too. I'll be here tomorrow.


My name is Jordan, I'm 16 years old, and I like to think I'm funny. If you want to subscribe to my youtube channel, there's a button in the sidebar! Thanks for visiting and I love you all!

Monday, October 28, 2013

I Suck at Golf

My gosh.

I don't even know how to properly express this to you guys. I am so bad at it. IT WASN'T EVEN REAL GOLF. I'm sorry for the capitals, but there was no other way to say it. It was putt putt golf for crying out loud.

On my first hit - MY FIRST HIT - I overshot. And I lost my ball. I forced my brother to go get me a new one, because I flat out refused to go in after one hit and tell the people at the counter that I lost a freaking ball. Do you know how awkward that would have been? Extremely. And I was completely willing to sit out the rest of the game if it meant I didn't have to experience that feeling.

Luckily for me, I have a brother that doesn't mind people as much as I do.

Not only that, but I got some crazy high score (I can't really think of what it is off the top of my head). Not good at all.

I did have one good moment of the entire game.

I hit one really crappy ball. It was right up against a corner, and there were bushes right behind it, so I couldn't even step off the green to hit. So, being the hardcore daredevil I am (some sarcasm intended) I balanced on the edge of the green, and hit the ball. It rolled up a hill, and did some crazy insane triple bank shot, and went right into the hole.

Naturally, I started freaking out. I attracted some pretty strange looks, but I didn't really care so much about that. If they heard that I made a crazy awesome shot, that was perfectly okay with me.

As people were still looking at me, I stepped off to the side to allow my mom to make her shot. And guess what happened? I was balancing on the edge again, AND I FELL OFF A FREAKING LEDGE. I fell down about a foot. I had no idea it was that deep. The worst part was that everybody was still looking at me from when I completely flipped out. So the fact that I fell was made about ten times more embarrassing.

I tried my best to laugh it off.

But it was not funny.

More likely than not, this story will make a guest appearance in my next video. It got me thinking about doing one on athletic/sporty stuff I've done in the past, both good and bad. So be looking forward to that.

I know I'm a fail, and I think I expressed that in this post. But at least it was something you guys can laugh at. Even though I'm not sure if I'll ever get over it.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Surprise Bruises and Dreaming

I can't be the only one that this happens to.

Some days I'll wake up, and my legs will be absolutely covered with bruises. This happened to me today. I have no idea where they came from, or why they're there. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I roll around in my sleep. Even though I don't have any dreams (at least that I can remember), I am pretty sure that the thoughts in my head are pretty violent. Or, at the very least, extremely messed up.

If my dreams are anything like my fiction writing, I can imagine why my legs are bruised up.

Not only that, but I am extremely aggressive on my environment. Basically, that's a less embarrassing way to say I'm a clumsy freak. I run into walls on a regular basis, and slam my knees into tables at least once a day.

Probably I do that in my sleep as well. There's honestly no good way to tell for sure what goes on during the night in my room (at least not without setting up a video camera, which there is no way I'm ever going to do), but I do know something about my sleep patterns.

A little while ago, I found an app on my iPhone that tracks how you sleep. You basically just turn it on before you go to bed, and it shows how you sleep. This is my pattern:

Wide awake, wide awake, and then basically dead. Apparently when I fall asleep, I go down hard. I am a heavy sleeper, and I am not ashamed to admit it.  

Maybe that's why I don't remember dreams. I'm just in too deep of a sleep to remember them when I finally get up. Maybe I'm just so consumed in them that my brain thinks it's a better idea to keep them hidden. 

Or maybe they're just so disturbing that my mind refuses to remember them.

Probably that.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

I Am Not a Morning Person - Video

Hey guys! It's me again, but this time I have something a little bit different. Today is a video day! I'm hoping to do this every Saturday, with the text posts in between. We'll see how it goes. But without further ado, here's today's video on how I'm not a morning person.

Really. I'm not.

Friday, October 25, 2013

An Introduction to My Blog (And a Funny Story to Boot)

Hey everyone. I would love to try to avoid this being like a real "introduction" post if at all possible, but it doesn't seem like that is really going to work.

My name is Jordan (as if you couldn't already tell that by the name of the blog), I'm 16 years old, and I am a fangirl. Not just a little bit of a fangirl, but a massively huge one. If there's something I could possibly obsess over, I'm there. Anyways. A few weeks ago, I started making youtube videos, just for the heck of it. If you're interested in that channel, you can find me here:

If not, and you're just here for the hilarity that is me, that's cool too.

Basically I want to use this as a journal of sorts, to talk about the things that are too small or insignificant to talk about in an actual video, but are still funny, never the less. Perhaps sometimes there will be crossovers; I'll say some of the same things in a video as I say here, but bear with me. I'm new to all of this.

Just a funny story to top off this magnificent (not really, I'm exaggerating again) post, I'll tell you something that happened to me a few days ago.

I was at my old school (I'm homeschooled now, but they still let me come to some of the events), and I was playing basketball with a bunch of the other kids. Now, I'm pretty good at basketball, and I'm even one of the people that guys will fight to have on their team. However, there were also some not so good kids playing - especially kids that don't really care about rules. Traveling, double dribbling. Nothing is off limits, and it drives me absolutely crazy.

At any rate, one of those kids was playing defense on me, and it just so happened to be a very small, 6th grade girl. She is extremely aggressive, and kind of annoys me, but that's okay. I realize that's just the way some kids are. I had the ball and this girl comes up behind me, throws her arms around me, and just starts FLAILING. Absolutely fouling me left and right. I just manage to pass the ball to another person in my team when three (not one, not two, THREE) of her fingers make their way into my eye. MY EYE. Everybody was running around me, babying me, and I told everyone I was fine.

I was not fine.

I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and thank HEAVENS my contact didn't tear. I'm okay now. But goodness, that hurt.

So yeah. I hope that was an interesting way to start off this blog. I don't know if that's the kind of thing I'm always going to be posting, but I had fun telling someone this story. :P

Talk at you later.